We are the Mothers

We are the daughters, sisters, friends, co-workers, wives, and women who take on another role. A role that completely redefines our priorities and oftentimes our worldview. We are women who are ready to have babies, and we are women who are reluctant to be moms. We give up our bodies to grow them, and our homes to entertain them. Sometimes we grow them in our hearts. And if they are known only by God and us, we will always remember them. We worry in ways we never did before and pray God knew what he was doing when He made us a mom.

We are the mothers.

We wake up bleary eyed to feed babies. We watch Paw Patrol and Puppy Dog Pals. We try to feed them healthy food, while bribing them with what they will eat. We cheer when they take their first step, say their first word, or notice them being kind to a friend. We nudge them off to school and hope they pay attention to the teacher and remember their manners. We question our choices when we see other moms momming differently. And we feel guilty when they are sad, even though we know, all too well, consequences are part of life.

We are the mothers.

When they get older, we try to let go, knowing that’s the way it was meant to be. We still help them cram for tests and create science projects that actually work. And we remind them umpteen times to brush their teeth and feed the dog. We monitor their screen time and encourage them to play outside. We watch them develop friendships and learn how to fight fair. We nag them to pick up after themselves and look out for their siblings. We reflect back to them who they are and what they are good at. We see them struggle with anxiety and anger and hope they remember, always, how much God loves them.

We are the mothers.

We are also the mothers who don’t have the child we imagined–the perfectly typical child. We mother special children, with different abilities.

We are still, the mothers.

We watch them struggle and miss milestones. So we work hard to make up the gaps. We give them every type of therapy imaginable and advocate for their best education. We take them to specialist after specialist and try to, for the love, understand their complicated bodies. We see their differences accentuated when they are seen next to their siblings and fellow students–cruel reminders of how it should have been. But we love them because they are ours.

We are the mothers.

When they are sick, our hearts grow sick. When they cry we cry. And when they laugh we cry. If others don’t show respect toward them, we speak up for them. We are their voices when they don’t have one. When they don’t make progress, as we define progress, we make accommodations to our homes and to our futures. We wearily change diapers and lift bodies too big for ours. But what we once saw as awfully different, we come to see as beautifully unique.

We are the mothers.

When they cuddle close or turn their eyes toward ours, we pay attention. When they slow us down, we change our cadence. We feel alone because they are different, but they nurture us with unconditional love. We learn that being is better than doing, and that weakness is better than strength. And we know God deeply because of them. They are our greatest teachers and comforters.

We are the mothers.

We are the women who gave up other dreams to help fulfill someone else’s. And we are the women who pursue our greatest dreams to inspire those we mother.

We are the mothers.

This mothers day, we celebrate you. Thank you for being, a mother. You who are not just a mother. You who are a mother and so much more.

My book, Beauty in Broken Dreams: A Hopeful Handbook for the Early Years as a Special Needs Parent, is now available on Amazon!

Also be sure to check out my list of Favorite Books on Disability!


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