Missing Muffins with Moms

Everything seems to be about N lately (especially with all the CDC awareness stuff I’ve been focusing on) but I have another amazing kiddo too. I am so very proud of him and wanted to tell you all of the incredible things he is doing this year.

He is writing his name.

He’s coloring almost within the lines but equally important, choosing the right colors to tell the story of the picture.

He’s cutting very well for a lefty. In fact, whenever I need to open a package he is such a good helper and offers to cut it open for me.

If you ask him what sorts of things he likes to play with he’ll tell you, “I’m very into firetrucks and super heros and Rescue Bots.” Boy, isn’t that the truth.

He’s learning lots about disability at the rehab center and how to pray for the kids who are sick. When his preschool class decorated little bags with teddy bears inside to take to the sick kids at Dell he said, “Is Mrs. Kelly going to give the bears to my Daddy to take to Dell Children’s?” His life revolves around that hospital as much as it does for his brother and his father and his mother.

His preschool provides such a loving environment for him to grow and learn. When he got his progress report from school mid-year I was very pleased by his marks and his teacher said he is most improved and very smart for his age. I think the most improved is not only related to the things that he’s learned academically but how far he’s come socially. He’s still the rambunctious little boy who likes to be silly more than proper. (So not my personality by the way.) But he cares for his classmates and really likes to make people laugh. Thank goodness for that because we all could use a little more laughter around here. Especially today.

Today I was supposed to come M’s class for “Muffins with Moms.” Well, my little muffin woke up this morning with a 102 fever so he did not go, which means I did not go. We were both so sad. I was also mad.

Of all the things we’ve dealt with in the last year, the thing that angers me the most is not usually related to N medically or developmentally. The thing that makes me most angry is when normal is interrupted or taken away from me or my family. It’s usually such a simple thing. Something I’m not able to do. I mean really, is it too much to be able to go to the flippin’ muffin party at preschool?

I found myself praying that I would simply accept the circumstances as best I could even if I didn’t like them. If it had not been for this article that I read yesterday, I don’t think I would have bounced back. It spoke to me on so many levels. My favorite line is when Kathryn says, “I finally realized I could jump on the train or cry at the station. I chose the adventure.” I’m on the train folks. But I can’t tell you how many times I find myself crying on board as it flies through unknown territories and through terribly dark tunnels. Today, it stopped at a station where I didn’t want to be. Stuck at home.

But like everything this year we struggle and fight to find something redemptive in the whole thing. So once the ibuprofen started to make M feel better I took him to Starbucks for our own little Mommy/Muffin time. It wasn’t the same thing but at least it was something.

I can’t believe how far he’s come in the last year. Sure, we’ve had our fair share of 4-year-old meltdowns and blatant disobedience but so have I. The 36-year-old versions. At least we’re all on this adventure together and today I got to favor the other child.

My book, Beauty in Broken Dreams: A Hopeful Handbook for the Early Years as a Special Needs Parent, is now available on Amazon!

Also be sure to check out my list of Favorite Books on Disability!


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