Last year at this time I started to feel very anxious about Nathan’s first birthday. Remember my sadness over not being able to set a pretty birthday cake in front of him and let him destroy it with his chubby little fingers, smash it into his mouth, and grind it into his high chair?
This year I’m feeling similar about him turning two, just not as intense. His feeding tube has become our norm. That’s not to say there still isn’t a loss. There is. He’s still not eating for volume. He does get small tastes once a day, if he doesn’t start gulping. So alas, there’s not going to be any cake for his second birthday either. We are making progress. Just slow progress.
Nathan’s feeding therapist started thinking ahead of my anxiety however, and told me that this year he could probably taste some pudding for his birthday. She feels it’s the exact right consistency for him to manage a few bites. Although this will be another year with no cake, there will be pudding friends! I am going to stick a candle in the pudding cup and we’ll all sing our hearts out.
A friend recently wrote in an email following the loss of her father, “I am thankful because I know that the loss we feel is equal to the joy we were given.” And so it goes with all sorts of loss. The joy is equal.
Again this year Nathan’s birthday brings a pain that’s mixed with joy. And I’m grateful because once again we have a great big way to joyfully celebrate. This year sMiles4Sammy is hosting their annual 5K fundraiser the day before Nathan’s birthday. It’s on Saturday May 30th. We would love for you to come out again to celebrate Nathan and support sMiles4Sammy. This organization is so special to us. (Here is the story of how we got connected.) They stood beside us, checked in on us, and made us feel special in light of something that felt anything but. It was through their own pain, they were able to minister to us. I hope that we will in turn, love others that deeply because of Nathan.
You are all invited! I hope that many of you will come out and join us at the sMiles4Sammy run on May 30th at 8:00 am. Click here to register. Register under “Team Nathan (my husband M)” for a $3 discount. Now through April 15th is early registration so sign-up soon! I am going to run it this year. I think. Either that or run/walk it depending on how much time I have to train.
Saturday, May 30th, 2015
Vista Ridge High School Track (200 South Vista Ridge Blvd., Cedar Park, TX 78613)
8:00 a.m.-5K Timed Run
9:15 a.m.-1K Ranger Trek for all youngsters that want to run with our Ranger athletes
9:45 a.m.-5K Awards Ceremony
Fees for 5K:
Early Registration – Now – April 15th
Individual – $25
Team (3 person minimum) – $22
My book, Beauty in Broken Dreams: A Hopeful Handbook for the Early Years as a Special Needs Parent, is now available on Amazon!
Also be sure to check out my list of Favorite Books on Disability!