The day we’ve been waiting for.

Not Valentine’s Day, though I do think it’s ironic that this special appointment takes place on the day when we celebrate our love for one another. February 14, 2014 is the day we meet with Dr. George, renown neurosurgeon who we are hopeful has answers to this lipoma or fatty filium or whatever it is on N’s spine. I do love this little boy and I would love to find out what is causing his so much pain. That’s what we’re hoping for on February 14th.

It’s been incredibly difficult for me to not put all my hope in this appointment. After months of tests, and trials, and medication upon medication, I am so ready to have an answer. I’m ready for this highly regarded surgeon to say, “I can fix him.” Not him as in his DNA, but the part that could make his life on this earth so much more comfortable that what it is currently.

That’s not where my hope is supposed to be though. My hope is supposed to lie solely in God. I haven’t done the best at that lately. My prayers feel like they are more thrown up by hands of desperation and frustration. Rather than fervent and unceasing. My lack of stamina makes me wonder all the more why He chose me as the mama of this boy. There’s your answer right there. He’s working it out in me.

We haven’t lost any time. Even if we would have known of this problem two days after his birth, we wouldn’t have been able to do anything up until now anyway. What a wave of relief to know that to this point, the pain my son is experiencing is not being prolonged by our not being able to figure it out.

It still feels like a week is a long time to wait, but it’s oh so much sooner than two months ago.

My book, Beauty in Broken Dreams: A Hopeful Handbook for the Early Years as a Special Needs Parent, is now available on Amazon!

Also be sure to check out my list of Favorite Books on Disability!

#neurosurgery #pain

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